Rictameter Poems and Syllables
68Dear Diary...???
I woke up last night around 1:00am and realized I needed to get my submission in to a Rictameter Poetry contest on Fanstory.com. No worries. I still posessed one hour to accomplish this feat.
I drew myself a tall glass of cool water, settled into my office chair and opted for something romantic. I felt I plugged along real well, too. I finished my last tweak and prepared to crown the peice with a title and pop off to bed again.
That uber-early-in-the-morning brain fuzz took over. I could not drum up a title at all. FInally, after some hair pulling a near insomnia-producing stress, I came up with Dear Diary .
I knew this title screamed - lame. I thought I might be able to play the title off as a "sensitive man might actually write this in a diary" kind of way. Obviously this tactic did not work.
OR...
my inability to count syllables may have done me in. How many syllables in the word "beautiful"? I sounded out four and thought nothing of it until a reviewer told me my poem structure is incorrect because 'beautiful' contains only three syllables. I bluffed a response back (never, ever do this folks, no one likes eating egg on their face...) that my dictionary showed four syllables.
The response was, "What dictionary are you using? I checked two and both verify three syllables." I then check five online dictionaries and I'll be doggone if the HEAD SYLLABLE COUNTER OF THE WORLD didn't decree beautifull as three. Instead of 'bea-u-ti-ful' as I heard it, the dictionaries claim 'byoo-ti-ful'.
The overall effect of all this is that my Rictameter poem recieved zero votes. Ah, the lessons we learn... What's a Rictameter poem? Glad you asked because this egg is getting less and less tasty as the day wears on...
The Rictameter is a 9 line poem the begins and ends with the exact same syllables. The syllable count goes like this: line 1 - 2 syllables. Line 2 - 4 syllables. Line 3 - 6 syllables. Line 4 - 8 syllables. Line 5 - 10 syllables. Line 6 - 8 syllables. Line 7 - 6 syllables. Line 8 - 4 syllables and line 9 is the same as line 1.
Here is my damaged Rictameter poem, syllablictly flawed and strangely titled...
Dear Diary
Her heart
Prized above life
Beautiful each day
Empathetic magnificence
She dominates my dreams, longings and soul,
My very breath rides within her
Our heartbeats share rhythm
My love desires
Her heart
There's always tomorrow for contests to be won... (sung to the song There's Always Tomorrow.
Writing is Easy
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It's Always Good to Check...
No matter how often I learn this lesson, it appears I periodically need a reminder. If someone gives you feedback and you KNOW they are incorrect, that's when you need to check it out the most - nothing like cockiness to mess you up every time.
Hopefully I won't have to learn this one again for a very long time...
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Oh my word! Just did google and found a million structures. Poetry is a science on its own. It will take me a year to get to the core! (Sigh!) I guess if I really want to go into this, I should stick to couplets, or perhaps, tackle Hauku.
Hi MartieCoetser, LOL!!! I stumbled across all this poetry stuff myself at Fanstory.com. I just enter the contests and follow the directions. I've written two 'structured' poems to date. Poetry is different things to different people. An EXACT definition is impossible because of this. For me, poetry is an emotional outlet, an loose structure, like rhythm should be sacrificed for passion or emotion or poignancy. That said, if the violation of 'loose structure' causes the poem to read choppy, then the words are not right. Except, of course, if choppy is desired or needed... Ok, you're right!!! LOL!!! Poetry is enjoyable and I find the structured poems challenging in that I want as much passion/emotion/poignancy possible within that structure. Thanks for popping by!!!
Good night! I could never follow such a structured regiment and I envy your ability to do so even if you did make a tiny mistake, depending on whose dictionary is used.
I like the poem. I agree w/ Martie here in that I feel I need to go back to school to, for English comp. this time instead of my traditional Beh. Sc.
Again, the poem is good. So what if peeps want to squab over counting... sounds like another bean counter hang up to me buddy.
LOL!!! poetvix. Thank you. That was my reaction. There is a group of poetry people who are very snooty and since poetry is so subjective, they place themselves as the arbiters of what is good and what is not. "sounds like another bean counter hang up to me buddy." is the perfect response!!! Love it. Thanks for dropping by!
Hi Michael!
I have recently viewed a bit of that site www.fanstory.com. It is really interesting and will begin writing there too. I'm learning more about poetry and the different forms. I just free flow as you know. Thank you for sharing your latest with us all. I'm a fan, always, Scarlett Hart XX
Hi Scarlett Hart, I love your pic by the way... I am learning a lot at Fanstory. One thing you must be prepared for is that you must review other people's work in order to generate 'fanstory dollars'. While this is very beneficial on the editing side of life (which helps YOUR writing as well), the writers there on the whole are nowhere near as sharp as her on HubPages. Sometimes I'll read something to review and the writing is so abysmal that I simply skip it rather than have to plow through it. Time is the issue. I attempt to help out as many writers there as possible, but sometimes it is not feasible. Fanstory is an enjoyable site though and it does offer educational stuff like workshops, loads of contests and the ability to get feedback (often weak though) on your work. Most people sing your praises on their reviews rather than give you tangible stuff. Then, of course, someone teaches me about the syllables in beautiful and I chafe!!! LOL!!!
MartieCoetser Level 8 Commenter 20 months ago
You are encouraging me to go back to school. I was always into prose and not verse. My efforts of poems were/are merely emotional cramps with no structure, except rhyme and beginning-middle-end. So because of you I’m going to google poem-structures. Re your title – Our professor for Creative Writing always said if we don’t have a title, we don’t have a story. So it has to be the main message (moral) of your story, but concealed. Not at all easy to drum-up! Your poem – rictameter – is a heartwarming story. Well done. I don’t blame you for getting confused with bea-u-ti-ful verses beau-ti-ful.