Crazy, Emotional Day Blues

Crazy day, Monday. You hope a bad Monday does not portend ill for the week, but shaking that feeling of impending doom requires conscious effort. Anyone else prefer to simply slip into their muse without the necessity of mental override? That's what I thought, most everyone.

First off, I struggled to get going with the words today. I hacked out a couple necessary emails, tweaked a website and wandered the Internet aimlessly for an hour. The recognition of work NOT happening jerked me into a bluesy funk. I need to write but I do not aspire to chuck out an angry Hub, blog, story or whatever.

Then my periodontist calls. They can move a tooth extraction scheduled for three weeks from today to three days from now. Those blues just dove from Carolina to Navy - nearly black. I don't deal well with dentists - who does? This is my second tooth I've lost which distresses me. The cost distresses me. The fact I'm not writing anything distresses me.

Ah, you say, but I'm writing this Hub. So I am. This hub is nothing more than "reality writing". Hell, we have reality TV, reality this, reality that, why not writing? I need to break out of my troubles and get crackin'. The only way I know to accomplish this?

Write. Pull up the buttin chair and write. The buttin chair. Have I lost my mind? Spelling no longer a priority? No, the good 'ol buttin chair refers to the fact that writing requires you put your butt in the chair and do it. Doesn't matter if you feel like crap, your world's crumbling and your dog just gnawed your leg. Put fingers to keys and make words and phrases happen.

Yes, they may come out ugly. Homely little phrases, weak verbs and adjectives, lame prose for the masses, but writing is writing. You must jolt yourself out of whatever dominates you, whatever holds you back and whatever prevents your mind to assemble letters into words, words into phrases, phrases into sentences, sentences into paragraphs and paragraphs into something real.

Writers know this. We realized early on that the writing gig takes a level of insanity and counter-intuitive effort at times. Like now, I do not feel like writing, so I write. This feels a bit loony. I know I'm struggling yet I persist.

The thought of the tooth creeps back. I'm still blocked and bummed and worried and distressed. My situation appears to be headed for a level two emergency. Since writing through the problem has met with abject failure, I'll turn to reading and studying. Not just anything, mind you.

At this point, reading and studying writing is my "in". I have a series of lectures by Margie Lawson that I'm dying to attack once again. Writing is not ALWAYS the physical act of writing. Sometimes writing is reading. Looks like today is the day I'll be taking on some reading.

Do I have a level three emergency plan? Absolutely. Reading for pleasure. Often reading for pleasure inspires me to get behind the keyboard regardless of any outside interference. A great book can inspire me by the simple turn of an outstanding metaphor. I tend to get a "damn, I wish I'd written that" moment or two and I decide I need to get back at it.

Do you write when your brain's messed up? I hope so. I hope any writer who's struggling out there determines to write through the pain, the trouble, the worries and the sadness. I hope writers out there, when they struggle don't give up and walk away, but buckle down, create some emergency fall-back plans and gets back at it.

These times tend to shake authors. Writer's block. Emotional turmoil. Depression. Reality. The blues. Fight for what you desire. You know you love to write. Writing has been your sweet companion most likely for years. Some of us - years and years and years. There are times you must pursue what you want, what you dream and if you don't, you'll set patterns of failure for yourself.

Write yourself better. Write yourself into a better mood, a better place a more productive frame of mind. Use others' printed words to inspire. Use tools you possess like lectures or notes on particular aspects of writing you wish to explore. Determination to succeed despite yourself and those around you will carry you far, a lot further than moping around and kicking on the tube.

My level four goes to exercise, by the way. My theory maintains that if I cannot put words down and I can't read something along writing lines that will help my career and I cannot sit down for a while with a good book, I better get some positive endorphins flowing. Exercise works wonders.

I now must close so I may call the dentist's office back. I'm sure this little factoid will drive me to Margie Lawson's excellent lectures. Fallback plans themselves can be motivational. Simply knowing I have somewhere to turn when the day goes poorly delivers a shot in the brain and fingers.

Write when your brain's messed up. Develop back-up plans to take care of that fragile muse that loves to play hide-and-seek with your heart and mind. Never ever give up on your writing day. Find something that will move you forward and make sure you notice the control you manifest over what you do. This truly will inspire you and can possibly inspire others.

Lastly, never consider NOT writing about the trouble you're having writing. Guaranteed there is someone else out there in the boat with you. Reach out to them and commiserate. Misery loves company, but with writers, the common writing miseries can cure themselves once exposed. Once you have a compatriot, your troubles diminish.

Write when your brain is messed up...